I wasn't prepared for that.

9/22/13

I just returned from the High museum, and experienced a feeling I never knew existed. It was supposed to be a simple day. My grandmother who was visiting wanted to see the The Girl with the Pearl Earring exhibit while she was in town, and I obliged, for I was interested in viewing the artwork with an analytical lens. The landscape paintings and portraits blew me away, as I searched on each canvas for a brush stroke. It was slightly depressing, knowing that the Renaissance housed some of the greatest talent our generation may never see in such a copious revival again. I can’t speak for the future. The basis for this post originated when I stumbled upon a certain painting titled, “View of A Lake with Sailing Ships”. I started crying. In the middle of an art museum, I was crying and I didn’t know why. The majority of the painting is swallowed by the sky. I’ll post the picture below. It was the colors that affected me emotionally though. The focus seems to be placed on two objects that appear immediately in the foreground. There are two vessels, shrouded by the shadow of an enormous cloud. The faces of the sailors on board are masked in darkness. The larger ship has its back turned, as if it’s sailing away, while the small dinghy is left behind. Upon further analysis of my emotions, I discover that the painting embodies adventure for me. The infinite sea compared to the even vaster sky accentuates the feeling of a awe-full world. Perhaps I connected to it because I saw myself as a passenger on that ship. Off in the distance, the other ships bathe in sunlight. With senior year ending, I think I see high school as one large cloud, comparatively to the openness of college and the possibilities that the future hold for a high-school graduate. When I cried, I felt feelings of loss. To me, it feels as though I’m leaving behind so many friends and loved ones, once I embark on this adventure. Seeing the two fishermen stuck on the small boat, doomed to their condition of...well...fishing, made me think they were the ones I was leaving behind. Adventure comes at a loss. The road of adventure really is a lonely one, especially if everyone else around you is comfortable with their situation, or have no interests to aspire for “greatness”. These themes are common in Frankenstein. Robert Walton embarks on a grand expedition to the arctic circle, but admits he has no friends. He is alone because moral isolation results from rebellion. Rebellion from the “system”. In Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, only one man is allowed to leave the cave. Upon returning, they come back forever changed. It’s that feeling of adventure in such a vast world where failure is an even greater possibility than success. When I saw the painting, I think I felt scared of how great it was. It was the feeling of adventure that struck such a feeling of forlorn in me. I’m not sure, I’ll leave it up to you. Just don’t call me strange if it doesn’t evoke a single feeling of sadness or melancholy.